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Stepan (Season 9 Runner Up)
Stepan's Submission
Final Score Breakdown:
Creativity and Originality: 24/30
Structure and Organisation: 23/25
Engagement and Impact: 22/25
Grammar and Spelling: 8/10
Prompt Adherence: 9/10
Total: 86/100
The speech is passionate and confrontational, which conveys the dumper planets’ struggles and the urgency of the situation. Good use of sarcasm as it shows the speaker’s subtle (and then increasingly unsubtle) rage. You’ve implemented natural speech patterns and rhetorical devices to convey the fact that it is a speech. Good use of imagery like ‘a tombstone of a planet orbiting the star’. A ‘leprosarium on planet scale’ is strong, as is the cumbersome phrasing analysis.
The themes and conflict (e.g. corporate exploitation and unchecked natural resource extraction) are clear and parallel real-world issues. There is room for a bit more creativity and out-of-the-world problems here though, as these problems are not unique to the intergalactic setting.
“Dumpster planets” is fun to say, but the prompt does say “dumper planets” instead. Some areas could’ve done with more editing for grammar and concision. Pay attention to punctuation as well. Overall the piece fits the prompt very well.
Writing Challenge:
Suppose that humanity has evolved enough to thrive in an intergalactic civilization. Our species has somehow found a way to travel and communicate with each other across intergalactic distances without being affected by time dilation. However, not all planets in our Milky Way Galaxy, which are referred to as the “dumper planets,” have access to these newest cutting-edge technologies. On one hand, the “dumper planets” are plotting to reverse-engineer these technologies without testing them under the supervision of the galaxy’s most skillful scientists and under controlled environments. On the other hand, the Galactic Council has been warned about this situation and is plotting to destroy all the “dumper planets” before these technologies are recreated. Imagine that you live on one of these “dumper planets” and are warned about the incoming intergalactic conflict. You are then selected to represent these planets and are asked to negotiate with the Galactic Council to avoid an intergalactic war. Your challenge is to write a persuasive speech, outlining how the “dumper planets” and the rest of the Milky Way can come to a compromise by allowing all planets to have access to the same cutting-edge technologies. In addition, your speech should propose how technological inequality between planets can be avoided in the future so then intergalactic conflict would not escalate and cause war.
