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ChrisL (Season 9 Winner)
Chris Langan's Winning Submission:
Final Score Breakdown:
Creativity and Originality: 28/30
Structure and Organisation: 24/25
Engagement and Impact: 24/25
Grammar and Spelling: 8/10
Prompt Adherence: 9/10
Total: 93/100
The formal, serious tone immediately establishes the gravity of the situation and suits the brief. The formal register does however make the two contractions in paragraphs 2 ("doesn't") and 3 ("aren't") a bit jarring; maintaining a consistently formal style would be best.
Reclaiming the planet name is powerful and the description of Carbora, using multiple senses, is evocative.
Initially, the speech feels extremely calm and diplomatic - perhaps overly so. The appeals to reason and morality, while well-structured, do not seem persuasive and come across as overly idealistic given the audience is motivated by power, control, or self-interest. However, because of this, I was NOT expecting the bioterrorism/mass sterilization weapon twist - the sharp contrast works very well and is highly impactful. The moral ambiguity of the situation is interesting. The fruit turning from an act of hospitality to an act of bioterrorism is a great reveal. Good job!
It would be good to know, even briefly, what the faster-than-light (not "faster than light" when it is a compound adjective) technology offers, as it would help contextualize the Council’s motives and why it is so invested in withholding it. E.g. does it provide military/economic superiority or another form of leverage?
Overall, the payoff was excellent, and it is clear that the details were well thought out and deliberate.
Writing Challenge:
Suppose that humanity has evolved enough to thrive in an intergalactic civilization. Our species has somehow found a way to travel and communicate with each other across intergalactic distances without being affected by time dilation. However, not all planets in our Milky Way Galaxy, which are referred to as the “dumper planets,” have access to these newest cutting-edge technologies. On one hand, the “dumper planets” are plotting to reverse-engineer these technologies without testing them under the supervision of the galaxy’s most skillful scientists and under controlled environments. On the other hand, the Galactic Council has been warned about this situation and is plotting to destroy all the “dumper planets” before these technologies are recreated. Imagine that you live on one of these “dumper planets” and are warned about the incoming intergalactic conflict. You are then selected to represent these planets and are asked to negotiate with the Galactic Council to avoid an intergalactic war. Your challenge is to write a persuasive speech, outlining how the “dumper planets” and the rest of the Milky Way can come to a compromise by allowing all planets to have access to the same cutting-edge technologies. In addition, your speech should propose how technological inequality between planets can be avoided in the future so then intergalactic conflict would not escalate and cause war.
